I don't want this post to be a downer, but this week hasn't been the best. Z ended up getting really sick on Monday night and I was up until 4 am taking care of him. From there the week kinda snowballed. Every bad thing this week are all little things, but they all added up and today I'm just emotionally exhausted and hurt.
Last night, I woke up around 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep. I had too many things going on in my head and I was trying to make all the puzzle pieces fit back together. I'm the type of person that whenever someone is rude to me or if something doesn't go the way I want it to at work, I immediately try to fix it. What can I do better? What went wrong there? How can this make me better? I realized an hour later that this time, I couldn't do it.
There wasn't anything I could've done to prevent Z from getting sick or for a friend to snap for no reason. This time, I couldn't stop someone from complaining about something that was out of my control. So around 4:45, I decided to watch a TED talk. Nerd alert, I know.
One of the the things that stuck with me was the speaker said, "Be okay with what you ultimately can't do because there is so much you CAN do." That really hit home for me and I started thinking, "Okay, what can I do today to turn this week/day/moment around? How can I get out of this rut?" So, I went to the gym.
I thought, "I can't control other people, but I can control me. Instead of sitting here in my thoughts, let's be productive." I hit the gym for 30 minutes and afterwards felt a tad bit better. I thought "At least I went to the gym today. At least I kept moving forward. At least I started to break the pattern of just sitting here and sulking."
Sorry guys, I know this isn't the most uplifting thing to read, but I wanted to write about it because I keep this blog as a journal and well, this has been my week. Not the most glamorous and not the most fun, but that's okay. It'll just make the next big event-a friend's wedding- that much better.
Also, I chose the picture above because it's my brother's birthday!!! Happy birthday, little bro! I love you and am so proud of you.